Five Things That Are Screwed Up With The Indian Education System

So it looks like I may be going off to college this year. To celebrate my release from thirteen years of rote-learning regimentation (and also because I honestly have nothing better to do), I started thinking about the different reasons that make the education system in my country suck donkeyballs so gloriously.

(Mostly, it boils down to the fact that the Big Men in the Government fancy schmancy posts get together every once in a while to make important policy decisions, and then say, "fuck that, YOLO.")

5. Government funding? What funding?

Now, from your internet-accessing, English-reading point of view, this may not seem to be a big deal, but government aid in education is an ABSOLUTE necessity in a society where over a tenth of the population still lives below the International Poverty Line.
And it isn't all that uncommon. Most European countries take free education for granted, and USA, despite exorbitant college tuition, does have totally free schooling. So what's the problem with India?

Money, mostly.

India uses, a measly 3.5 percent of its annual GDP to educate almost one-fifth of the world's children. Compared to China's whopping 6 percent, our contribution to the development of the demographic dividend seems pathetic, no?
Add the ever-present tinge of corruption to the wonderful mixture of bureaucratic indifference and TERRIBLE implementation botch-ups, and you have your regular Hindustani khichdi.

Sorry, kids. No education. Go spin khadi, like Bapu wanted you to.

4. All The Growth Figures Are Misleading Hype.

For all appearances, India has comfortably settled its tush in the list of countries that provide free primary education to all kids upto the age of 14 (thanks to the RTE, 2009.)

AND YES, MAGIXXXXX HAPPENED. The enrolment in primary schools has gone up to an all time high of NINETY SIX POINT FIVE PERCENT in elementary schools!!

Yay?
Nay.

See, when this RTE thingy came in, the Indian government was getting a LOT of flak for our desi, illiterate population (33% of the world's non-literate population, exclusively in India, people) and so our Education Ministry came up with a brilliantly populist idea.

Despite the fact that TEN LAKH CRORE RUPEES (you can take a minute to get your head around all those zeroes) have been invested in the Sarva Siksha Abhiyaan in the last decade, less than half of school-going kids can do anything that would qualify them as literate.

What happens really happens:
ALL kids are enrolled into schools.
Even if they can't really do a math sum to save their lives.
Even if they can't read a line in ANY language.
Even if they never attend school at all.

And since no kids are to be failed till class 8, and nobody really understands how Continuous Comprehensive Evaluation works, there are kids in 7th grade that can't write the alphabet (for real).

Most of us are well acquainted with how "literacy" is judged in our country, (if you aren't, here's how it goes: if you can write your own name in one of 22 languages, you're good to go) so the knowledge that 48% of these kids drop out in primary  school itself shouldn't shock you.

The fact is this: the rosy picture painted in front of your eyes isn't real.
Despite midday meals, "free" education and all that jazz, a depressingly large part of today's youth is never going to receive any credible formal education.

Cheers.

3. Schools are understaffed, teachers are untrained, basic facilities are non existent.

When I say "understaffed", what image comes to your head? How many teachers do you think India can really lack? I mean, of course, we know that most rural government schools have teachers that have better napping qualifications than teaching ones (more on that later), but at least they are THERE, right?
Erm, not really. Our government schools have 14 lakh vacant posts for teachers, which contributes to pupil-teacher ratios so big, that every teacher has roughly 45 seconds for individual interaction with each student.

IF the teacher does interact, that is.
One fifth of the Indian schoolteachers generally suck at being teachers even according to the NCERT guidelines (we students know that number is a tad bit higher, but eh). Over ninety percent of teachers appearing for a Teaching Eligibility test failed it. Most of the time, almost half the 32 lakh employed teachers are off-duty, or not in their designated classrooms. And if, by some miracle, they do end up in front of their students, they are often clueless as to what to do next. (Teaching? Who does that, rey!)

I am not bashing on the teaching system in India. Okay, maybe a little. But the sad, dismal truth lies in something my grandpa used to say: Only the people that couldn't get a better job end up teaching in India.
While not always true- I have met a fair share of teachers that genuinely care about the welfare of children and are amazing educators- the job of teaching is still looked down upon, and not often taken up with a lot of enthusiasm. This leads to a country that puts its young minds in the hands of people that
A. didn't want that duty in the first place, and
B. often lack the training or vision to keep up with the demands of contemporary education.
C. have to perform other work they didn't really sign up for, or expect. (Oh, a government school teacher? Great! Go to the polling booth and supervise it. Education can wait, man.)

Add to this the fact that most government schools don't even have toilets or drinking water facilities, and you can see why the private costs of education have risen 12.5 times in the last decade; even a quarter of rural schoolkids are sent to private schools, which offer a better, if not great, chance at a real education for kids (the RTE muddles things up there, too, though.)

2. Higher Education? Sorry, no can do.

Picture this: You, like 6 million others, belong to a rural Below Poverty Line family, and by some grace of God, have managed to make it to grade 8 by age 14 under the Sarva Siksha Abhiyaan. You are pretty bright, and have managed to ace in your classes, and you want to go right ahead and fulfil your dreams of building a rocket like the ones you see in your Science books.

Wait, what's that?
Yeah, turns out you can't really do that.

Right from the beginning, our Constitution makers were pretty much set on the whole "until they complete the age of fourteen years" part of education provision in India.
Which was a great thing.
In 1951.
Today, when we look at the almost-100% literacy in China, and the all-expenses paid schooling (beyond the age of 14) in many European countries, shouldn't we atleast once ask ourselves HOW THE FUDGE DOES AN EDUCATION UP TO GRADE 8 REALISTICALLY HELP ANYBODY IN THE WORLD?

Sure, it makes the government look nice on the charts, brings the literacy level higher, gives us all a reason to become chronic alcoholics, yada yada yada.
But if we seriously think about it, we have basically developed a system which (maybe) provides you sub-average education till you are fourteen, doesn't ensure you learn any vocational skills, then leaves you hanging dry for the rest of your life.
Good luck fending for yourself with that education, ha!

I can almost hear some people sanctimoniously scream, "But scholarships! If you have the merit, the government will help you!"

Reality check: The scholarship:meritorious poor kids ratio in this country is lower than our annual GDP growth rate, which is saying something. Student loans are hard to get, the number of schools providing secondary education is astonishingly small, the abysmally low enrolment in grade 9 (52%) and grade 11 (28%) are a direct result of inefficient application of funding for education.

Welcome to reality.

1. Even after all that, numbers show you still might be royally done for.

Okay. Now you are done with primary, secondary, senior schooling. It's time for college- and after that, all your problems are solved!
Right?
Wrong.

After all, your twelve years of schooling have actively discouraged you from thinking out of the box, and by now, you are probably in the mindless race to beat a million other kids to grab a coveted seat in a great college, that sets you up for life.
But hey, if that doesn't work out, don't worry, you have so many colleges in this country, man.
Right?
Right?

Despite having the largest number of universities in the world, and pretty affordable-if not free- education, our colleges manage to be the final cesspools of intellect, where all dreams go to die.
Even as we have institutes of undeniable excellence and irreproachable prowess in producing badass citizens of tomorrow, a certain tight-lipped former PM of the nation was quoted as saying that over 66% of our universities and 90% of our colleges are shittier than your average levels of shittery. (Rule of thumb: When the Big Men of the government say something is messed up, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES.)

But yeah, seriously. Only 20% of jobseekers have any kind of vocational training. Of these, over three fourths are unemployable by India's "high growth global industries".

Oopsie?

A major factor responsible for this is that the sudden inundation of the college scene by private "deemed" universities has effectively diluted the quality of graduates being churned out by the educational machinery per year, leading to a growing number of unemployed graduates or overqualified (dissatisfied) workers.

Basically, in interests of populist eye-pleasing statistics, colleges are allowed to set up left, right and centre- who has time for things like trained faculty, or proper infrastructure? We give out degrees, sheeple!
While the number of degree-holding Indian 20-somethings is pretty impressive, most of these degrees aren't recognized by any institution with a modicum of self respect.

Yes, yes. The B. Tech Degree from *insert unheard-of private college in some part of India* qualifies you only to work at a call centre.

Like a million other Indians.

CELEBRATE THE DEMOCRACY!

P.S. Since I wrote this mainly for the lulz, it may have factual errors/supremely judgmental thought expression.
Please donot hurt your backsides.